eBay gets off on Ashcroft’s backwash

I got this e-mail today from eBay, explaining why they removed my listing for a glass of John Ashcroft’s backwash.

Dear tfooq(XXXXXXXXXX@gmail.com),

You recently listed the following auction-style listing:

320282682781 – John Ashcroft’s BACKWASH!! DNA of a war criminal!!!

The was removed because it violated the eBay Adult Material policy. We notified members who placed bids on the item that the listing has been canceled.

Adult material (material that is not appropriate for people under 18 years old) can be listed in the eBay Mature Audiences category only. Also, even though it may be legal to sell certain items to adults, sales of these items are still not permitted on eBay.

Obscene materials are not permitted anywhere on eBay. eBay defines obscene materials as those items that show or suggest rape, incest, bestiality, or necrophilia.
For more information about the eBay policy, please visit:


What could eBay possibly find erotic, adult, obscene, whatever in a glass of John Ashcroft’s backwash? It’s a glass the dude drank from once. That might be the least sexy thing I’ve ever heard of.

Now, would I want my child playing with a glass of John Ashcroft’s backwash? Hell no. The stuff creeps me out. But that’s just because he’s a pretty evil guy with bad vibes and a strange desire to torture people. But they sell Hitler memorabilia all the time on eBay, so that can’t be why they took it off.

So now I’m angry. I was all set to retire on the truckloads of money that auction was going to bring in (it was up to $0.16 before eBay destroyed my dreams!).

This fight is not over. EBay, you’re on the list. Being cold and impersonal is why everyone uses Craig’s List now. And your text editor is embarrassing (go start to make a listing and try using the text editor they give you. It’s ridiculous. The spell check looks like it was programmed in ’88).

Ah, so mad. Time to regroup. Anyone have any ideas? I still have the backwash. What should I do with it?



Filed under My Life, Resisting

6 responses to “eBay gets off on Ashcroft’s backwash

  1. Vicky

    yeah dude, try craigslist. I can’t believe you saved that. is it rotting?

  2. dcfish

    I don’t know, they do make a good point. The very mention of John Ashcroft kind of implies rape, incest, bestiality, or necrophilia.

  3. Pingback: Now selling John Ashcroft’s backwash on eBay « Cheeto Fingers

  4. Deana

    Get yourself a copy of the Necronomicon and do some summoning, I’d say.

  5. Pingback: Ashcroft’s saliva back on the market « Cheeto Fingers

  6. Offer to drink that glass of backwash — you’re sure to get more cash that way.

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